UNEMPLOYMENT = GROWTH

Thank goodness the Senate took my advice & voted to extend unemployment benefits. Senator Durbin said it best: "Putting money in the hands of unemployed families means they will be able to pay their rent & utility bills, buy groceries & clothe their children. It is money that will create economic growth in America."

In other words, unemployment stimulates the economy! Under my leadership, the economy will soon be very very stimulated. As for those Negative Noras who say extended unemployment benefits are simply an extended tax on business, think of it as a healthy disincentive: it's cheaper to keep people than let them go! Unemployment problem solved! Now we can get around to the really important issues, like hormone replacement therapy.